The morning that God healed me, I was not actively praying for it. Over the past three years, I had asked the Lord to heal me in His perfect timing, and I knew He would. But I had to let go of knowing when that was. (To read the first part of my story, click here)
It was exciting to be able to eat so many tasty things again. For the first time, I could travel without having to bring an entire suitcase of foods I could eat with me. I could look at a menu and order what I wanted without customizing the heck out of it.
Yet this new freedom proved to be surprisingly difficult. I realized boundaries had become my protection. They forced me to eat healthy. I had unknowingly grown to love the restrictions because I felt safe there.
I began to understand that strict boundaries are often meant for a season. God uses boundaries to teach us and shepherd us in a protected place. Then He sets us free. He invites us to step out of those boundaries that have been a place of security, and to let Him lead us out with a new freedom. The journey is so full of purpose, which is different for each person. But if we refuse to leave those boundaries and trust Him, those boundaries will quickly become bondage. They begin to hold us back from everything Jesus has for us to pursue because we start to trust the boundaries more than Jesus.
About a year after I was healed, I started to get sick again. It began slowly, with bloating and stomach pain. Then the headaches and brain fog returned. Then joint and muscle pain, and fatigue gripped my body. Before I could blink, it felt like I was spiraling back towards the place from which God had miraculously delivered me.
When you feel awful, your focus becomes consumed on how to feel better. It affects everything. I fell back on my training – retesting myself for food sensitivities, cutting out gluten and dairy, and strategically supplementing to “fix” my body.
My sister saw what I was doing. In fiery words, she declared, “Jesus healed you!! Why are you avoiding all these things He healed you to be able to eat and enjoy?!”
My response, “If it helps me feel good and function, why wouldn’t I?”
That question ignited something inside of me, and the Holy Spirit then asked me, “Do you trust me? Will you start eating in faith, declaring that healing over yourself every day, rather than trying to fix yourself by running back to your boundaries?”
It awakened me back to faith. I went and bought some organic bread, yogurt, and more. I learned to pray differently before I ate. The enemy had started to convince me that food was my adversary, and that it was my fault I was sick. The Lord showed me that it was actually the enemy tempting me to doubt the wisdom God had taught me.
As I began to eat all those things in faith, my body was restored. The peace of God that comes through trusting Him is the greatest medicine for the body.
This was the beginning of me learning how to live in and stay in freedom, even when confronted by returning affliction. Heidi Baker wrote in her book Reckless Devotion, “Satan is trying to destroy your destiny, God’s temple. If he can’t use sin, he will use sickness or exhaustion. So we have to fight.” The way we fight is obedience. What is God putting before us to do, and what is He asking us not to do? When we follow His lead, He will never fail us.
“The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.
Taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
... The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.”
Restorative Nutrition's mission is to equip people to partner with Jesus in pursuing health and healing. Everyone’s journey looks different. We need to allow Jesus the space to guide us in each season.
More on this next week!